Looking Fabulous

Always Looking Fabulous~

If most people’s grandparents were alive, they would be appalled at the things we wear in public.

I’m not even referring to things that are too sheer, tight or revealing, either. It’s more about how casual we dress for any situation that involves leaving the house. It’s not uncommon to see full-grown adults in pajamas, out and about, as if wearing flannel pants cheerily festooned with a sports team was just as valid as wearing jeans in public. Which it isn’t. At best, it’s the most severe form of laziness one could ever experience. At worst, it’s the sign that putting on jeans — hell, even workout pants, which are the city dweller’s equivalent to PJ pants — has become too much effort.

Looking back at photos from our grandparents’ generation, everyone looks so dapper. Their clothes fit. Their hair is combed. They do not look like they’re on day 6 of a weeklong bender. And there is not a baseball cap in sight. While it would be ridiculous to go back to ’50s standards of dress, with stringent girdles (for the ladies) and sock garters (for the gentlemen), I think we do need to reassess what our clothes are saying about ourselves.

Let’s take a look at a few common situations where people used to dress up from our grandparents’ days.

Airplane Travel: Come on people is it too much to ask you to change out of your pajamas and put on something appropriate before boarding an aircraft? (That goes for anyone over the age of 3) Yes, we all want to be comfortable, but that does not mean sweatpants or worse yet, pants that hang down our backside. Have some respect for yourself.

Grocery Shopping: I’m not saying you must don a hat and gloves, a’la our grandmothers. But a little style wouldn’t hurt either. Put a comb through that hair. If you don’t want to put on makeup then a nice pair of Jackie O style sunglasses and a little lipstick can do the trick.  Show you care about your appearance.

Going into town or a night on the town: This one baffles me, as to why someone would not want to get dressed up to go out and about! If you are going out, its an opportunity to get dressed up. Especially if you are meeting friends or having a night with a significant other, go ahead and show that you put some thought into your wardrobe and that they matter to you!

I realize that times have changed, and that everything today is about comfort. But if you put a little thought into your wardrobe and throw away that which is dated and over-worn, you can be comfortable and still look classy & fabulous in the process.

Transocean Air lines 377 Stratocruiser





Rosewall's ShopCrowd on 42nd St. and 5th Avenue, NYC circa 1940s


Fabulous Relationships

Relationships can be hard. Sometimes, really hard. Finding somebody you want to spend time with can be difficult enough, but once that happens, you’ve got to deal with the difficult task of maintenance: holding hands

This includes keeping things fresh, finding time for each other, and generally just coming up with ways to navigate the tricky ups and downs every partnership faces. It’s enough to occasionally drive anyone—even those in the most secure relationships—crazy. Lucky for you, we’ve come up with 25 relationship tips—some big, some small—that’ll help you improve any partnership. We’ve got 25 relationship tips that you can start implementing right now, so start reading!

1. Listen. It might sound obvious, but when you really allow yourself to listen—and ask questions about—what your partner says, it not only leads to better conversations, but also better communication.

2. Take a few days apart. Missing each other is a great way to reconnect. Try grabbing some girlfriends for an overnight or a weekend getaway every few months.

3. Find a support team. Have a handful of great friends or family members you can call so your significant other doesn’t have to hear every small grievance going on your life.

4. Put away your phones. One of the biggest relationship tips is to give your undivided attention when your partner is speaking. It’s is one of the most important things you can do.

5. Volunteer together. Giving back is a great way to keep perspective of how great your relationship is, and how lucky you both are.

6. Create a checklist. Jot down new and fun things you want to accomplish for the day, week or even for the year as a duo.

7. Talk to couples over 65 years old. Get relationship tips from them, and see what you can take away to apply to your relationship.

8. Take a class. It’s proven that couples who learn together connect deeper. Find some common ground (cooking? art? science?) and go from there. Take a class together

9. Revisit the questions you asked in the beginning. What are you hoping to accomplish in the next year? What are you scared of? These answers change, so we need to keep asking these questions.

10. Find 10 things you really love about them and tell them. Guys need confidence boosters, too! MORE: Here’s the One Time You Shouldn’t Text Your Boyfriend

11. Stop nagging. Seriously, stop. Take a step back and figure out the big things about your partner that truly bother you, and approach them from a place of concern and support instead of nitpicking for sport. That’ll get you nowhere.

12. Get over needing to be right. Learning to say “I was wrong” is a skill worth learning. Sometimes you just have to say to yourself “I can be right, or I can be happy.”

13. Take care of yourself. No relationship can be successful if you don’t feel good about yourself, both inside and out, mentally and physically.

14. Know what you need, and then ask for it. You’re dating a human, not a magical psychic. They don’t know unless you tell them.

15. Stop and appreciate all that your relationship is this very second. Stop living for what it can be. This person is choosing to be in your life every day, not every day in the future.couple

16. Stop complicating things that aren’t complicated enough. Don’t pull a Carrie Bradshaw during the Aiden years: If you bemoan the fact that your relationship is going too well, you might need to revisit why you’re constantly seeking out Drama.

17. Assume that if something was said that hurt your feelings, it wasn’t intended that way. Why would they want to upset you or hurt you? Give your partner the benefit of the doubt, but if it’s really bothering you, don’t be afraid to bring it up.

18. Write notes. Whether you have study hall together or live together, handwritten notes are personal touches in today’s highly digital world. A random sticky note left in a lunchbox, on the bathroom mirror or in the car can brighten someone’s day!

19. Pitch in. Help each other with chores and other necessary, if banal, activities — cooking, cleaning, re-organizing, etc. Not doing them if you live together can create tension, and always doing them can create unfair expectations. Act as team of equals.

20. Disconnect. Step away from the laptop during quality time. Everything on the Internet will still be there later. You can always update your Facebook status later.

21. Allow things to be what they are. Sometimes bad days and bad moods happen. Don’t take it personally. Don’t go crazy trying to make everything better. Just be supportive and loving, because just being there at the end of a bad day can make it better for both of you.

22. Create mini-traditions. Creating small rituals can really help hold up a couple because they become “your thing.” Whether it’s a fancy night out during the holiday season, or watching a certain show every week, these are things that’ll give you both something to look forward to, and it’ll bring you closer together.

23. Be an open book. They can either deal with it or they can’t, but if you can’t be your most honest self with this person, it’ll come out eventually.

24. Compliment, and often. You’re there to make each other feel like your best selves, so let the genuine praise flow freely. Like his outfit? Tell him! Like her hair today? Let her know! Be sincere and genuine, but don’t hold back that compliment!

25. Acknowledge positive actions. This is one of the most important things you can do. When you and your partner see positive actions, solutions, or behavior in one another, acknowledge it, and remind each other to keep it up. Everyone wants to know that their positive actions are being appreciated.

The best relationships are ones in which both partners feel like the luckiest person in the world. 
Find ways to communicate that and foster that feeling in each other, and you’ll be on your way to a fabulous relationship!

Fabulous & Sexy

How to be look Fabulous & Feel Sexy!

#1  Get yourself clean. Bathe daily.  But don’t wash your hair everyday, especially if it’s colored! This will fade your color and dry out your hair. Feeling and looking clean is crucial. Wash with a nice smelling body soap, a loofah or with a bathing sponge and you will smell great. Get out and pat yourself dry with a soft, fluffy towel, and rub in some rich body oil that doesn’t smell strong. You need to be soft and able to cuddle at all times, don’t neglect your hands, elbows, and feet. If possible try to layer matching scents on your body, such as soap, lotion, powder, and perfume. For example: If you bathe with a citrus smelling body soap, try to wear a citrus-smelling lotion also. Also make sure you shave your legs and underarms. Have deodorant on so you don’t have sweat stains.bathtub
#2  Practice good dental hygiene. This includes brushing, flossing and even mouth wash. Clean your tongue with a tongue cleaner or a spoon every morning for fresh breath. Get a check up and have your teeth cleaned often. Invest in a good toothbrush, water pick, and mouthwash. Always keep mints or breath spray on hand.
#3  Get groomed. Work with what you’ve got. But keep it neat and tidy. Trim finger and toe nails weekly, remembering to clean under the nail. No fancy nail polish colors are needed, but a simple beige color looks delicious. To do your eye brows with tweezers numb them with an ice cube then soothe them with any cream but if you can an Aloe Vera based one and pluck away. This takes away the pain and gives you full precision on the shape you want for your eyebrows. Or just wait until you get out of the shower, it’ll hurt less.  Once every 2 or 3 weeks, have a pampering day, including a manicure, pedicure, facial, and bubble bath, even if it’s just a spa day at home.
pretty hands

#4 Style Your Hair. Make a trip to the hair salon. A new cut or style will make you feel sexy and confident. Having a change of hair color is nice, too. Go for something natural and not too dramatic. Deep condition your hair at least once a month. In the mornings, flat iron your hair or put it in a messy bun, depending on your style. Adding extensions or a wig can radically change an everyday look from “ho-hum” to “wow” to turn a few heads. Studies show that most men are more attracted to longer hair. This is because longer, glossier hair is associated with health; if you get ill, the first thing the body stops maintaining is your hair in order to concentrate on sustaining more vital areas. And in terms of evolution, it makes more sense for a guy to be attracted to a healthy girl, it’s become natural to be attracted to hair that looks more healthy. Get split ends treated for shinier hair and use heat protectant to prevent them from coming back.

#5  Create flawless skin. Do a steam facial maybe once a week for up to 10 minutes, to open up your pores and get rid of blackheads and acne. To do this, get a bowl of boiling water and a towel, and just sit with your face in the steam, using the towel as a little tent/mini sauna over your head and the bowl. Doing it for longer then 10 minutes will just stress out your skin, which will just make it worse, so be careful. Wash your face right away afterwards with a cleanser made for your type of skin. Then rinse and splash your face with cold water to close your pores or, alternatively, get an ice cube and wait for it to melt a little. Then smooth it gently over your face until it melts; this closes your pores and prevents dirt going back into them. An alternative to this is to use a facial scrub to get rid of flaky, dead skin cells

#6  Show your personal style. If you are comfortable and look good, you will feel good. Forget trendy, find what looks good on you and your body type.

#7  Look in the mirror.  What features you are most satisfied with? identify them and play them up,  show them off with clothes, makeup, or accessories.  If you seem to know what you’ve got, others will get the message and notice you for what you have.

#8 Invest in a good pair of jeans. Dark denim looks good on all body types.

#9 Pick clothes that flatter your figure, and that you feel comfortable in. There’s no point picking the latest fashions if you don’t feel comfortable in them. Pick clothes that make you feel like ”you”.

#10 Wear jewelry that excites you. Find colorful, fun, bright chunky necklaces and bracelets, but if you wear lots of pearls and beads, don’t wear a shirt that has a pattern or a picture on it. Wear a monochromatic top with lots of multicolored jewelry.

#11 Black is sexy. It hides fat, creates curves and makes you feel like a goddess. Invest in an eye catching LBD.
#12 Sexy undergarments. But don’t flash them. Be classy about it, otherwise you look trashy. Try to maintain class as much as possible, while still being sexy.
# 13 Wear make-up. Just make sure not to go overboard. Subtle is very sexy in the same way that less is more. Accent one feature at a time. For example, one day, put on lip-liner, bold red lipstick, and mascara. For another day, wear subtle pink or clear lip gloss, and wear eye-liner to make your eyes stand out. If you need help creating a look, a mall makeup counter or independent beauty consultant would be happy to teach you for free.

#13 Get-in-Shape. Create an at home workout plan. Crunches and lunges equal flat, hard abdominal muscles, lunges equal toned legs, and squats equal a toned backside. Running or jogging works all muscles of the body and increases your stamina. Plus, the hormones your body releases while exercising carry on through your evening activities to contribute to your new sexy attitude.

#14 Sexy doesn’t equal skinny. Men are attracted to all body types. Curvy women are sexy too. Its all about the confidence you exude.

#15 Sex appeal involves a belief in yourself that you can and will appear sexy. Most public icons or even film stars carry their sexiness in their confidence. Even a simple smile shows confidence and appeal. In fact the starting point to sexiness starts with confidence. Find your passion in life.  Do you love to dance?  Act?  Sing? Listen to music that makes you move your hips? Remember, confidence is the key to being fabulous.

Compassion is Fabulous…

Fabulous & Compassionate

In the so-called age of narcissism, it’s been said that empathy is declining — and some research has shown that social media is causing us to become more self-obsessed than ever before. But whether or not selfishness is actually on the rise, it’s safe to say that we need compassion more than ever.Compassion

Eastern spiritual practices have long touted the importance of compassion as a necessary ingredient for building happy lives and peaceful nations (“Without [compassion], humanity cannot survive,” the Dalai Lama wrote in The Art of Happiness). Now, Western science is catching up to this ancient wisdom.

New research from the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research (CCARE) at Stanford University (some funding for which has been provided by the Dalai Lama) is shedding light on the human capacity for goodness. Through his work at CCARE, James Doty, the center’s founder and director, has become convinced that young people are actually becoming more compassionate.

“We’re really seeing a sea change in how people perceive their place in the world,” Doty recently told New Scientist. “The millennium generation is the first to grow up with 24/7 access to global information. When you see the suffering of others, you realize that those individuals could just as easily have been you. It’s much easier to say, ‘I can’t let that happen — I feel their pain.’ That is how humanity is going to survive.”

Doty and other neuroscientists and psychologists have made compassion a growing field of study, looking at how empathy and altruism work in the brain and how we can increase our capacity for goodness. Here are six insights that will change the way you think about compassion — and revolutionize your approach to giving and social connection.

We’re wired for compassion.

For thousands of years, scientists and philosophers have asked whether humans are self-interested or altruistic. Historically, it’s been thought that our actions are largely selfish in motivation (look no further than the popular theory of Social Darwinism), but that school of thought has started to give way to a new, and more compassionate, picture of human behavior.

Many psychologists have suggested that we developed altruism as an evolutionary advantage — helping others is in fact a powerful way of helping ourselves, and key to the development of tribes and social groups. Datcher Keltner of the University of California has presented a wide body of research to support the idea humans have a “compassion instinct” — in other words, there is a biological basis for treating others well.

“It has long been assumed that selfishness, greed, and competitiveness lie at the core of human behavior, the products of our evolution,” Keltner wrote in a report for the Greater Good Science Center. “But recent scientific findings forcefully challenge this view of human nature. We see that compassion is deeply rooted in our brains, our bodies, and in the most basic ways we communicate. What’s more, a sense of compassion fosters compassionate behavior and helps shape the lessons we teach our children.”

Compassion is good for business.

More than 80 percent of US workers say that their jobs cause them stress, and this high level of employee stress can have a high cost for businesses. Workplace stress can result in lower employee productivity, engagement and retention, and higher health care costs. But recent research has found that creating a culture of compassion — a workplace in which managers and employers are friendly and help one another — can make employees happier and more productive. A 2005 study, conducted by Jonathan Haidt of New York University, found that when managers were fair and self-sacrificing, employees experienced “elevation,” a state of heightened well-being, and were more likely to feel loyal to their company and act kindly toward their co-workers.

LinkedIn CEO Jeff Weiner knows this well, and runs his business accordingly. Weiner calls leading compassionately his “first principle of management,” and wrote in a 2012 LinkedIn blog that the Dalai Lama’s Art of Happiness taught him compassion and empathy. Weiner has also spoken about the potential of meditation to boost compassion.

Compassion makes you happy.

The Dalai Lama has long held that compassion is the key to happiness and good physical health, and recently, brain-imaging studies have shown that doing good for others does provide pleasure and boost well-being. A 2006 National Institutes of Health study showed that the brain’s reward centers are activated in the same way when we give to others as when we receive money ourselves.

“I believe compassion to be one of the few things we can practice that will bring immediate and long-term happiness to our lives,” His Holiness wrote in The Art of Happiness. “I’m not talking about the short-term gratification of pleasures like sex, drugs or gambling… but something that will bring true and lasting happiness. The kind that sticks.”

Meditation can increase the brain’s capacity for compassion.

Neuroscience research on Tibetan Buddhist monks has found that meditation on compassion (metta meditation) can produce powerful changes in the brains of experienced practitioners. When asked to meditate on “unconditional loving-kindness and compassion,” the brains of the monks generated powerful gamma waves that may have indicated a compassionate state of mind, Wired reported. The research suggests that empathy can be cultivated by exercising the brain with loving-kindness meditation.

But meditation doesn’t just boost compassion among monks. University of Texas psychologist Kristin Neff says that cultivating mindfulness — the focused awareness on the present moment, which can be increased through meditation — is the first step for anyone to develop compassion for the self and for others.

“In order for us to open our hearts in the face of suffering, we need to be mindfully aware that suffering is occuring, and we need to be able to turn toward it and be with it as it is,” Neff explained in a Greater Good Science Center talk.

Compassion can be taught.

Just as we can wire our brains for happiness, we can also optimize the mind for altruism. Compassion training developed at Stanford has been shown to be effective in boosting an individual’s level of care for others. Preliminary data shows that subjects who participated in Stanford’s nine-week compassion cultivation training demonstrated significantly enhanced compassion in the three target areas of compassion for others, receiving compassion from others, and self-compassion.

“There’s a small subset of people on the side of extraordinarily kind, compassionate, and that’s their baseline — Desmond Tutu, the Dalai Lama,” Doty explained. “And then there’s a fairly small group who, no matter what we do to try to potentiate their capacity for compassion, don’t have that capacity. Between those extremes are the rest of us, who can probably benefit from some kind of intervention or training when it comes to our ability to be altruistic or compassionate.”

Compassion is contagious. Heart-shaped-hands-and-compassion

Here’s a good reason to pay it forward: It turns out that there’s scientific proof for the idea that “kindness is contagious.” A 2010 social science study from the University of California and Harvard found that being kind to others is like yawning: It catches on. Small and large acts of generosity, compassion and helping others can inspire a chain of more good actions from others — and this social influence spreads for up to three degrees of separation. Huffington Post